i will not forget

i was thinking of tea today.

tea served in a silver tea pot over a small tea light candle. there was convesation. then when the tea was ready she would take my china tea cup and pour the hot amber tea. she would offer milk and sugar. i would pass. she would comment how i wasn’t taking like the english. the conversation was fun but she never talked to me as if i was a kid. i felt very grown up.

my grandmother is a beautiful lady. full of grace like no one i have ever known. never a mean word. never upset at anyone (that she would express in conversation). insightful. gave more to others in her life time than i could do in 10. 

my favorite comment was when she told me, just before i was married, that she learned early in life there are few battles worth fighting for in your family life. if your spouse wants to go to a certain restaurant why stand in the way and ruin the meal for both of you. but be sure to fight for the things you do feel are important.

she took me to the hospital when i had stepped on a stingray in the bay in front of her house. my leg was covered in blood (looking very dramatic because of the way it spread). it was clear she was not very comfortable with what the doctor was doing when he was probing for a barb in my ankle. she would not look. but she stayed there holding my hand telling me what a brave solider i was.

she was strong. a devout christian scientist she did not take medicine. she bore through migraines and pain. when hurt she refused doctors and medics. she used prayer and positive thought. she was active and sharp. a true testament to what power the mind and spirit have.

she would write little notes, some times with small poems and rhymes. they were funny and right on target.

today she is not the same physically. confined to a bed. hard to communicate with.

this is not the Peggy Hakes i will remember 10, 20 years from now. i will remember tea with little china cups.